weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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