This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
