I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
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We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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