Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
