PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
