I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
