If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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