I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
