Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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