the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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