I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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