I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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