I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
