she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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