I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
