she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
