I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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