i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We left the knife in your bed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize