I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
