Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize