No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
