I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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