She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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