You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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