Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
