just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
