Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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