And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
