Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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