please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
