thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize