i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
