I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
