i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Drake has all the answers
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize