FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
