My sheets look like a crime scene.
she looked like the before picture.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize