There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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