so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
