I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
