Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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