I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.