I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
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The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.