member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.