..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
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her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..