Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
