We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
