Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
