some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
