you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
