I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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