I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
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i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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