i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
