do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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