sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
