i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
