There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
