just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
